I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
