That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
