They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
