Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
