We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize