so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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