I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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