So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
