well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
