people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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