I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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