I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
