You kept calling me your small dog last night.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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