sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
