if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Im part way to drunk.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize