evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
there is puke in my bra ... again
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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