So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
