I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
