why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
party gras won. party gras always wins.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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