If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
