All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
