When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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