shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
