he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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