he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
