Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
