His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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