Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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