community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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