I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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