Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
