It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
