It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
