Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
