I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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