I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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