Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(406): View more from Montana

Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.

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(909): View more from California

I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"

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(518): View more from New York

Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.

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(303): View more from Colorado

she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip

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(817): View more from Texas

I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.

(817): View more from Texas

So yeah he had good weed?

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(217): View more from Illinois

He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.

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