I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
