Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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