so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
