I'm eating all of the evidence.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize