Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
