pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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