Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
