He kissed a someone with a penis
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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