Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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