Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
