Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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