New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize