so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
