i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
