Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
