I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize