And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
