Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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