It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
3pm strippers are depressing
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
