is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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