There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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